Life Without Her
by KayGirl12
Summary: It has been years ago since Jess' death, leaving Don alone with a daughter. Together they struggled for a life after she passed away, a life without her. -CHAPTER 2 UPDATED-
1. Something Special

**Well.. This is my first fanfic here, so I must have made some mistakes or something..**

**Anyway, i hope u enjoy this :)**

**I do NOT own CSI : NY, but I do own James Robert, Angelline Flack, and her friend Kelly.**

* * *

That was never a good day for Don, nor even for the other CSIs.

They were working, as usual, but this was not a usual case. They were in a search for James Robert, a serial killer who insanely and slowly tortured his victims until death.

But James Robert wasn't the one who made the CSIs gone crazy. Maybe he was, but the fact that all the victims were 15-22 year old girls sickened everyone, and they were chosen randomly by him. The only similarity was their blue eyes, and that was enough to make both Don and Danny suffered, as it reminded them to their daughters.

They have struggled for hours to search for this guy, searching every corner of places he had been, and looked at the pictures of the victims in case they got something. Sid was also working hard at his part, trying to get hint of where the girls were tortured. Don found the report and pictures of the girls, which made him sick. The image of his daughter always appeared in his mind. _What if she one of them?_ He couldn't even imagine losing her, not after he lost her mother, the woman he loved.

It had been years ago since Jess' death, leaving him alone with their daughter, Angelline Flack. She looks like him, except for her brunette hair that turned out like her mother's. Angel, as what he calls her, is a sweet 13 year old girl who could put a smile to everyone's face. It's her that made him survived after losing Jess.

Don was so deep in thought that he didn't realize Stella was standing in front of him.

"Flack, got anything from the report?" She asked

"I couldn't even look at it , Stel. It hurts seeing these young girls." He sighed, then added "...and knowing that someone outside there could probably hurt Angel too." He murmured.

"I'm sure she's fine, maybe you can call her, just to confirm it."

"Nah, she's at school right now." He replied with a sad smile. Stella couldn't help but pitied him, she also felt sick of this James Robert. "Well, let's look at these together then. At least we both have someone to lean on." She take the report, studying it.

"Thanks Stel, I don't think I could do this alone. I mean, Danno has Linds. And I.." Stella looked at him with a knowing look. "It's hard without 'her', isn't it?" Don just nodded, and then joined her through the report.

* * *

"Angel!"

"Hey Kelly, your class finished already?" She smiled at her friend who approached her.

"Yes of course." She rolled her eyes. "If not, I wouldn't be here."

"Ok ok, I'm just asking. Should we go out now?" She tidied her books and carried it, then followed her bestfriend's steps.

They walked through the corridor and to the front yard, searching for a bench and sat on it, then chattering happily as they waited for their parents to pick them up. Don promised Angel that he would pick her up from school today, and they will go straight home. It was a rare moment for her father to pick her up, due to his job.

"Hey Angel, what do you prepare for today?" Kelly asked in the middle of their conversation. Angel raised her eyebrows, then remembered something.

"Oh my God.. it's today! What should I do now?" she asked, making her friend confused.

"What..? What is today? I was just asking about your plans after this. You usually make a ton of plans when your dad pick you up, right?"

"Yes, but that's not the case now. Could you watch for my bag? I should go somewhere." Angel stood up and get ready to leave.

"Whoa wait! Where are you going? What about your dad?" Kelly grabbed her, trying to stop her. But Angel insisted. "Just tell him I'll be right back." Then ran away from her friend's and disappeared into the streets.

* * *

Don walked through the parking lot and got into his car. He left the precinct half-heartedly. Honestly, he wanted to sit still in his office, trying to catch for an insane serial killer. But with him kept thinking about Angel made him changed his mind. He couldn't even see the reports, so why bothered to continue. Besides, he promised Angel to pick her up from school today, and she was really excited about that. Instead of having a headache because of his work, he preferred spending time at home with his daughter. They will do whatever Angel had planned together. Don couldn't help but smiled at his thought, then he drove to her school.

When he got out from his car, he made his way to the front yard. But what he saw wasn't what he expected. Usually, he would see Angel and her bestfriend, Kelly, sitting on a bench, waiting to be picked up. Instead, he found Kelly with a worried look on her face, holding Angel's school bag. His mind suddenly went through the case they just had. _No, he musn't come after her. She's only 13. _But still, that didn't calm him down. Don approached Kelly who now looked more scared as she saw him. "Mr Flack.."

"Kelly! Where's Angel?" He grabbed her shoulder. "I don't know.. She.. She just ran away like that. She didn't even tell me where she going to." Kelly looked down.

"She never go alone, Kelly. Where is she?" Don started to panic. "I know, but she did run away." Kelly sobbed, "I'm sorry Mr Flack." Don let go of his hand from Kelly's shoulder, picking up his phone and started to call Angel, only to realize it was in her bag. He groaned and started to worry again. Just then, Angel arrived at the school, and went to the front yard.

"Dad?" she called. Don quickly turned around and saw his daughter standing there, alright. "Dad you're here!" Angel grinned and made her way to her dad. But Don was too screwed up from the case to even grin or smile back. "Angel! Where have you been?" He asked with a furious look.

"I was just.. going somewhere, dad." Don looked at the plastic bag she was holding. "God.. Angel.. You could do that on our way home."

"No, i couldn't... You don't understand..." she said, looking down. "I don't? Well, what i DO understand is you went alone somewhere. You never done that before, Angel."

"Dad... I..."

"That's enough, Angelline. Go to the car. Now." He pointed to the car and walked away. Angel sighed and followed her dad after saying goodbye and sorry to Kelly.

* * *

Don slammed the door behind them and went inside the apartment. He still had the furious look in his eyes that made Angel not even want to look at him. It was silent on the way home. He put his badge and weapons down, while Angel went to the living room and dropped her bag.

"Dad.." she glanced over, but Don didn't even look at her. "Are you mad at me? I was just going a few buildings from there.. I'm allowed to do that right?"

"No, you don't. Especially when you didn't tell anyone." Don answered, still not looking at her. Angel sighed, knowing that he was right. She didn't tell Kelly exactly. And she could see the worried look on Kelly's face when she arrived. "Ok.. but it's an emergency. And I.." she stated.

"An emergency? Angel, you're being ridiculous."

"No I'm not! Why did you always cut my words off! You are the one who're being ridiculous, dad!"

"You scared me out there! I had a bad case and you made it worse!"

"It's not my fault that you had a bad case! You're overacting and that's what made it worse!" She yelled again, now even louder.

"Angel!" he warned.

"I hate you..." Angel said quietly, then ran away to her bedroom, shut the door behind her loudly. She threw herself to her bed and cried. She hates the fact that her dad's too overprotective, because of his job. He had spent almost all his life handling crimes, and it's not rare sometimes to see crimes that involved children, or young girls like her. But Angel also know well that weren't the most reason why he became like that. There's a big reason why they had a fight before, and that was also the reason why she cried even louder right now.

It's all because her mother's death.

Angel looking up at her desk, her eyes caught a photo of her mother, who smiled beautifully. And 4-year-old Angel sat on her lap, looking excited and comfortable, grinning at the camera. She barely remember about the memory, but she knew it was taken at a park, and they were having a little picnic. It was her father's favorite picture of both. She took the photo, scanning at her mother's figure, trying to remember the best memories of her life with her.

"I miss you Mommy.. I miss you so much.." she closed her eyes, holding it tight.

* * *

Don was stunned outside, processing Angel's words. His little girl just said she hates him. Well, she's not a little girl anymore, but she will always be in Don's heart. When he drove to her school, his thought was full with interesting things they'll do that evening, and he knew that's not gonna happen now. Don couldn't even calm his mind when he arrived at her school, only to know that Angel wasn't there. And he was even more furious when she came back, grinning at him like nothing happened, or that was all just a joke. He can't cool down that made him argued with her, and now she hates him.

He sat back to the couch, his hands on his forehead. "What should I do now, Jess? She hates me, our daughter hates me." He couldn't fight back the tears that falling through his face. He needs her, he needs Jess to be in his side. All the years after she passed away, he had struggled to protect their daughter from anything. He promised her that nobody will hurt Angel. And that what makes him overprotective. The fight before wasn't the first they had. They had argued about things, although they will calm down not long after that. And Angel's responses were never that bad, she's an understanding and sweet girl, just like her mother. _Go to her room, Don. Finish things like you always do. _He could almost hear Jess whispering to him. So he stood up, carefully walked to Angel's room. When he reached for the door, he heard a sentence that made his heart hurt even more.

"I miss you Mommy.." Don could even hear her sobbing. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath he fought back his tear again. She needed a time alone, and that wasn't the right time to speak to her. He made his way back to the living room, and saw the plastic bag Angel's been holding before. He carefully looked insight and took out a box with a card on it. He knew he wasn't supposed to see her things, but this thing also had a role in their argument. So he took the card and read it carefully.

_Happy Mother's Day, Daddy!_

_I know it's weird, but I've been thinking something special for Mom._

_I miss her so much and I know you do too._

_But I also know that life goes on, and we couldn't let the past haunted us._

_And I think Mommy will be pleased if she could see us happy._

_So this is it! I bought a gift for us to show her._

_Let's make happy memories from now on, Dad._

_I love you and Mom so much._

_With Love,_

_Your Angel._

Don was stunned once again, but this time by her sweetness. He didn't even remember it was Mother's Day, because they never celebrate it again. And He also was too busy thinking of the case and the fact that Angel disappeared made him worse. Don couldn't hold on and let her explain what happened or where she went. She was right, he was the one who made it worse. Don opened the box and took out the frame in it, hanging it on the wall. He smiled proudly and whispered "She bought this Jess, for you.." He made his way to the kitchen, ready to prepare for a special dinner too. Maybe they didn't spend the evening together, but they will do that tonight, and Don wanted it to be a memorable night for them.

* * *

Angel opened her eyes, trying to remember what just happened. She scanned through her bedroom. It was already night, almost 7 pm. She wasn't surprised that her dad didn't wake her, because he always said that humans need sleep so much and he doesn't want to bother anyone in sleep. And they had a fight this evening that make it even more impossible. She rose, placing the photo back at her desk and got out from her bed after staring at her mom's for a while. She then took a quick shower and changed her clothes. Before she went outside, she thought again. _How will you face your dad, Angel? You said you hate him. Stupid. _But she smelled dinner and realized that she was really hungry. So she took a deep breath, and went outside, not wanting to meet her father's gaze.

"Hey Angie, You wake up already?" Don greeted her nicely. She looked up and found her father's smiling at her warmly. She wasn't expecting her father will be like that, and she was confused by him calling her 'Angie', like he used to when she was little. And he usually use it to tease her or show affection. But she still feel guilty so she quickly looked down and made her way to the table without answering his question. She sat down and Don revealed the dinner. He smiled at Angel's surprised look. On the table was their favorite dish. 'Their' in this case were Don, Jess, and Angel. They called it Family Menu but haven't really cook it since Jess passed away. Once they made it after the accident, but ended up lost in thoughts and left it just like that. Since then, they never ate it again. But that night Don cooked it for them, a full set. "This.." Angel still staring at the table. "I know. But you've done something special for Mom and this is all I could do for closure today. You are a good girl and the BEST thing we ever have. So I promised her that nobody will hurt you." He smiled at her who now looking at him. "We know and see everyday how dangerous or cruel some people can be, that's our job. And I'm sorry for being overprotective. It's just.."

"No, I'm the one who should say sorry." she replied quietly, tears falling from her eyes. "I shouldn't say I hate you, Dad. You're the best dad anyone could ask for. I'm sorry." Don shook his head and reached for her. "That's not your fault, Angel. I know you didn't mean it, did you?" she nodded.  
"I miss mommy too, Angel. I miss her so much." Don whispered and kissed her head, before releasing her. "I'm sure your mom will be happy seeing that." He pointed at the frames he had hung. "Dad.." Angel frowned. "Why did you go through my things." she pouted. "Sorry Angie, but that thing also had a role before." he grinned while Angel rolled her eyes. She starred at it for a while. "You think she will?" she asked, looking at her father.  
"Of course she will. That's the sweetest thing you've ever done." He smiled, making Angel blushed.  
"Can we put our family photo in the middle, Dad? Then it will be surrounded by pictures of you and me from now on. Just.. to show Mommy that we are happy but will never forget about her."  
"Yeah.. yes of course." Don pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead. He swear he doesn't want anything else for now. Angel means everything to him, and he couldn't ask for more.  
That night had become memorable for them. They sat down and enjoyed the dish, despite the tears that sometimes fell from Angel's face or Don lost in his thought for a while. It was the most precious time they ever had together, with Angel's sweetness and Don's closure. After dinner they put the family photo in the middle. It was their last family photo before the accident took Jess away, which was taken at Jess' birthday. And they also took photos that night to put it in the frame.  
"Happy Mother's Day, Mommy. I love you so much." Angel ran a hand through their photo in the middle. Don joined her and smiling at Jess, "Thank you for giving her in my life, Jess. You are the best mom ever. Love you sweetheart." And that time, almost immediately, they heard a soft voice replying to them.

_"I love you too.. Both of you.."_

* * *

**So... That's it... What do you think?  
Please kindly review this story, I really want to know what u think about my writing  
Thank you so much for those who read it :D i hope u enjoy it. I'll write another story if this one get some reviews**


	2. A Lovely Weekend

**Well.. I didn't plan this before.. But this just slipped in my mind  
Big thanks to Kates who'd helped me so far :)  
So this is it! Another chapter for Life Without Her  
Oh and if u noticed i've changed things in the story (like the summary etc)  
Hope u enjoy this! (Please leave some reviews, I really want to know what u think about my story.  
the first chapter got many visitors but there's only 1 review. I don't bite u know)**

* * *

It was a relaxing and exciting weekend for both Don and Angel after the Mother's Day "incident". Don got a day off and had picked Angel from school again at Friday, and they went straight to the cinema. They watched a film that Angel chose and shared a box of popcorn. It was already night when they got home, and Don quickly ordered for pizza, as it was their favorite, then talked a bit before going to sleep.

Today, however, they had planned to spend time together again. It was 6.30 when Angel woke up, and she bounced out of the room to reach for her Dad.  
"Dad wake up! We have plans today." she shook Don's shoulder. But he just rolled and escaped himself from the disturbance, not bothering to wake up. Angel groaned and started beating and shaking her Dad's shoulder even more and smiled widely when he finally woke up. "God, Angel! Can't you just go gently?" he frowned. Angel laughed slightly. "No, Dad. If i did that, you won't ever wake up." She giggled.  
"Well that, Angelline, is impossible. I'll wake up you know, it's just the matter of time." He smiled. Angel rolled her eyes, "Yeah, and at that time you wake up we will be able to do nothing." She then pulled Don's hands. "Come on Dad, Let's make breakfast for the picnic."  
"Alright, but not until I wash my face." He got out of the bed. "You can go on first." Angel just shook her head. "If I do, You sure will sleep again." Don just rolled his eyes and went to the bathroom.

After a few argument over what should they bring or how do they like to get there, Don and Angel finally arrived at the park. They found a perfect spot for picnic, and then sat down. Angel started to take out all their picnic things, and then let Don set them. They both picked out their sandwiches and then ate it while relaxing their feet.  
"This is so good. We should do this often, Dad." Angel took a bite of her sandwich, then breathed the air deeply.  
"It is, but I don't think we can do this too often." Don smiled, pouring some juice. "You want some?" He offered. "Yes, Orange please." Angel hold up her glass. Don poured the orange juice to the glass. They both chattering and enjoying the fresh air at the park together. After putting back the things, they took a walk around. Don smiled when Angel played with a dog who approached her. She even talked a bit with the owner. This reminded Don with Jess. Angel was sometimes too much look like her. The way she smiled or acted, both of them were too sweet. And Don miss her really much at times like that. It's hard to look at Angel. Her brunette hair, her smile, everything just reminded him of Jess. He wished Jess was there, seeing their daughter grow into a sweet beautiful girl.  
"Dad?" Angel called, bringing Don back to reality. He looked at Angel. "Hey, have you finished playing?" He smiled.  
"Well, the dog left already." she shrugged. "Should we walk again?" she asked.  
"Dunno, we can feed the ducks if you want." Don looked at the pond.  
"Dad, ducks are boring." Angel rolled her eyes, Don chuckled. "You used to like it back then. You changed your mind now?" He frowned.  
"No, i never like that. We just fed them because you wanted it." She giggled, then jogged ahead. "Come on,Dad. Let's walk again." Don smiled, then followed her. The next few minutes were filled by them chasing around. A lot of giggles and laughter surrounded the park. They lay down on the grass, relaxing a bit after having fun. Blue sky spreading above them, decorated with clouds.

"Dad?" Angel called, looking at her father who was closing his eyes. Don opened his eyes and faced her. "Yes baby?" He answered.  
"There's a florist shop near here right?" She asked. "Well, yes, I think." He tried to remember. "Why?"  
"Can we go there?" She asked, making Don frowned. He searched for a hint of joke in her face, but it was serious.  
"What.. Wait you're not going to buy a flower and give it to a boy right?" Angel's serious face cracked into laughter at Don's overprotective statement.  
"No, of course no, Dad. You're so funny." She continued laughing. "Well, then what for?" Don asked. Angel stopped laughing and looked up, playing with her fingers. "I was thinking maybe we can buy some nice flowers and visit Mom." She stated. "I really enjoyed this weekend, Dad, and I think we should include Mom here." Don smiled softly at her.

"Well then, little Angel, let's do your plan."

* * *

Don and Angel arrived at the grave. They walked through and searched for Jess' gravestone. Angel knelt down and put the flowers they bought earlier. Don followed her and brushed away some dust. "Hi Jess, it's me, and Angel too." He said, fixing his gaze at the gravestone. Angel grinned, "Hi mommy. Yes it's me." Don smiled at her cheerful tone. He hold back the tears from his eyes. He had to be strong, for her. Angel looked at her father. She knew he almost cried, that he was holding back his tears. She felt like going to cry, but if she did, she knew it would take so long and she won't be able to say a word to her mother. So she held the flowers, pretending like her mother was in front of her. "We bought this for you, it's beautiful, isn't it?" Angel then put it down. Don looked at her, touched by her action. "So, Jess, we're having this exciting weekend. We went to cinema, sharing a box of popcorn, and ordered a pizza for dinner. Before you get mad, I want to say I know it's not healthy, but we don't get it too often though. And today we had a picnic. Angel loved it, and suggested to do that often. Well, you know I can't Jess, you know how busy our work right? I wish you're here, so maybe we can switch on having a picnic with her." He laughed slightly after that. "Jess, we miss you so much here. Especially I.. Angel, you will not say something?" Angel looked up at the mention of her name. She was confused why her father suddenly stop to talk, but seeing the hint of sadness in his eyes, Angel stepped forward without saying anything.

"Hi Mom. Yes, we miss you so much. Did you see my present for you on Mother's Day? Actually I wish you're here, so I can give it to you and we'll take photos of three of us, not just me and Dad. Sometimes I cried, screaming inside for you to comeback to us. I'm jealous of my friends at school who get the love from both parents. I miss you, mommy, both of us do. We know life goes on, but we can't just forget someone so easily right? So, sometimes we are still lost in thoughts, we cry, and fight too. But don't worry, we're both fine, aren't we Dad?" Angel turned up to her father, smiling. Don nodded, fighting as much as he could to hold back the tears that started to fall down. Angel was about to talk again, but suddenly she cried loudly. Don didn't try to stop her. He let the tears falling down from his eyes. She put her arms around Don's waist, letting her feelings out.  
"I'm sorry Dad, I can't.." She sobbed. Don stroke her hair and kissed the top of her head. "It's alright, sweetheart. Want me to talk first?" He offered, but Angel shook her head. "No, let me finish." She released herself from her father. "Sorry for being silly, Mom." She wiped her tears. "I want to say one last thing. Although our lives go on, we will not forget you, Mom. You're the greatest mother for me, and will always be the only one. I love you so much Mom, and Dad too. You're both the best parents for me. Thank you for your love all those years, Mom. Love you always." She smiled softly, then stepped back, giving her Dad a closer space. "Your turn Dad, I'm going to wait near our car." She ran before Don could say anything. He stepped closer and knelt again.

"Well, we're alone now. Actually, I just want to say thank you. Thanks for giving birth to such a beautiful daughter. Like you always said, she's like a little angel. I don't know how I could survive without her. Losing you was like losing half part of me, Jess. It was hard at first. She became really quiet. There were no stories after school. And I often lost in thoughts. I know after a while we kept going on, but there were times when we were still taken by our feelings. It's never the same without you, Jess. But I believe you want us to be happy, with or without you. That's why she bought the frames, and that's why I cooked the Family Menu again. We're both fighting back our depression. And I promise we'll visit you more often." He smiled. "I love you Jess, and like she said, we will never ever forget about you. You are the most beautiful and greatest woman in my life. Thank you for everything." He kissed his fingers and placed it on Jess' gravestone. Then he walked away, approaching Angel who waited outside.

"Hey." He tapped on her shoulder. Angel was slightly surprised, but smiled when she saw her father. "Are we finished now?" She grinned.  
"As you can see. Should we go now?" Angel nodded. He let her go into the car, and then he went to the driver's seat, started to drive.

They went quiet the whole way. Angel looking outside and Don tried to focus on driving. He looked at Angel, then decided to start talking. "Well, where should we go now?" He asked, but Angel just shrugged. Don sighed, "Angel, will you talk?"

"Sorry Dad.. I'm just being silly." She said. "Why don't we go to the market? We ran out of supplies." Don nodded at her suggestion. "You're right, let's go." He turned the car around and drove to the nearest market. They spent the afternoon at the market, buying everything they needed for the month, then stopped at a coffee shop on the way home. Don ordered a cup of coffee for himself and hot chocolate for Angel. They sat down and quietly sipping their drink. Don stopped and put down the coffee on the table. He looked at Angel, "So, how do you feel after visiting Mom?" Angel looked up and met with her father's blue eyes similarly like hers. Actually she didn't want to talk about it but she knew she needed to. So they spent their time there talking about what they said earlier at the cemetery. About their feelings, on why they cried, or when will they visit Jess again. Don felt a little bit relief that Angel wanted to open up. Don loved times liket that, when he got to talk to his daughter. He was thankful that Angel was such an understanding and sweet girl. He knew many teenagers out there didn't get along with their father. And Jess' death almost made them unconnected.

"Dad look! You are on television." Angel pointed at the television on the wall. Don came back from his thoughts and looked up. There showed him and the team arresting James Robert, the serial killer that had ruined his whole week. "Yeah, that was from a few days ago." He sipped the coffee again, not wanting to look at the news. But Angel kept looking at it with suspicious look. "He looks scary." She said, making Don stopped. It broke his heart to see his daughter scared.

"Don't worry he's in jail now." He said with a smile, then stood up. "What do you think we go somewhere not scary? Home?" Angel just giggled and then stood up, then followed her father to the car. They drove back home happily, not knowing what might come after them years later.


End file.
